Before I Had A Baby

Before I had a baby, I didn’t know what snuggling babies was all about. Sure, I’d held a baby. There’s a seven year difference between my sister and I, so I’d held her when I was younger. But I didn’t snuggle her. Being only a clumsy seven year old, my parents only let me hold her for short times and while supervised.

The next baby I held was HER baby, who is five months older than my son. I remember when I first held my nephew, and I thought, “Wow, he’s like holding a doll!” He was sleeping and making little coos in his sleep. And he farted. A lot. He was like a doll who made noise. It was such a weird feeling.

I held my nephew many times before my son was born, but I wouldn’t say we cuddled, not like I cuddle my son. I was always nervous about dropping my nephew or making him uncomfortable. It seemed as soon as he was comfortable, I was uncomfortable and at a loss of what to do. I was worried I’d never be comfortable holding my own baby.

Everything changed when my son was born. I quickly learned how to hold him and how to never want to let him go (even if my arm is stiff when I let him go, I don’t care).

I never thought I’d feel comfortable cuddling a baby other than my cat, but now I’ve successfully learned to cuddle both at the same time. There’s something really special about falling asleep with a human baby and a fur baby on me.