Last night, I said to my husband, “What if our son is a genius? What if he goes to Harvard?”
My husband replied, “He won’t. He’ll be competing with all the other genius white boys. He won’t stand out.”
I replied, “So he’d have a better chance if he were Asian?”
The conversation got me thinking, because historically and even today, white men have a better chance of getting into the college of their choice. They have a higher chance of reaching the top of their chosen career. Overall a white man’s life has always been easier than any female’s or person of color’s. I often rely on my husband to make difficult phone calls because I’ve always noticed he is perceived better than I am as a woman. Conversations often end up with him getting what he wants, versus me feeling like I’m in a battlefield.
I know often it’s his tone. He’s better at staying calm than I am. I’m more likely to lose my cool before he is. However, I’ve always felt inferior, and part of that comes back to me being a woman. It’s the same feeling people of color experience.
So I think about his statement: it’s a common fear white men have when they see people of color succeeding. They think their white sons won’t stand a chance against the Black boy in school. They fear if a white and a black boy with equal smarts apply to the same school, the black boy will be chosen to increase the school’s diversity.
While I’m sure the latter happens, too often enough kids are pushed aside because their name isn’t as common as John Smith. My son’s name isn’t a common name, and it’s commonly used in the Black community when it’s used. I wonder how this will impact him too.
I think my husband’s statement may have been a little too optimistic. After all, we’re still electing white men as our president. I don’t think we’re closer to erasing white power anytime soon. I believe my son’s life will be easier than mine because he’s a white boy (and a cute one).
Fur to Human Mom 